Big City vs Small Town...
Today I went to visit a house, this house is on a back road
made of broken up concert. It is an old ranch style home and sits on a beautiful
lot of land, maybe an acre or so of land. When we drove up to the house we parked
all the way up the driveway and walked around the back of the home and came in
an open screen door. I love this house, It made me want to make sweet tea and
sit out back under the covered porch and watch Hailey and Christian play
football. All of this is neither here nor there. I came to this house to pay my
respect to a family who has just lost their son.
I came to work in Alvin TX, about a month ago and although I’ve
been meaning to write about the drastic difference between working here and
working in the city, I’m writing about it now from a completely different point
of view. Soon after working here I learned that my co-worker lost her daughter
a little over a year ago, she was a young and beautiful and left behind two
even more beautiful children for their grandmother to take care of. Ever since
then I’ve tried and tried to wrap my head around the thought of losing my son
and I can’t even bear it. I can’t imagine what something like that would feel
like.
I work at the “Bus Barn” for the Alvin ISD, as a payroll clerk, and here there are about 200 people who work here
and live in this small town and they all know each other in some way shape or
form. There is gossip galore and secrets that most know about anyway. But here
in this small town very little differs from the “Big City”, my eyes have been
open and the idea that you could somehow move away from everything bad and move
your family into a good neighborhood, or a better city, is lost. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of love
here too. Our break room have filled up with every kind of home cooked and
baked yummy you can imagine this morning for the grieving family. Everyone has come
together and in the house I went to visit, there were ladies that although not
close friends of their co-worked who has lost her son, are there busy in her
kitchen making sure that the family will come home to find that everything has
been taken care of. It’s amazing.
What has me as a mom even more taken back though is the
cause. I don’t feel as though I purposely moved, trying to escape the bad
things that can hurt a family. Things just worked out that way. I do feel
better that my kids will not be a part of the same things that I was when I was
younger. Apparently there is no way around some of it. Since here I’ve learned of
two deaths by overdose and a young man whose drug (alcohol) wreaked havoc on
him internally causing a very horrible and painful death. My heart goes out to
these mommas, having to watch as your baby that you have known better than he
or she knows their self and slowly feel as though you don’t know them at all. I
watch Christian on the field and see that kid fill of life and future and
happiness, I see him there and can imagine everything good that can come his
way. I try not to think of all the bad that can cut him short. I pray for those
things to keep their distance. AND
I talk to him all the time about these things. I talk to him about his future,
his life, his youth, his dreams, his faith, his friends, his relationships, his peers,
drugs, sex. I don't know the answer to it all but I'm here and we talk and I learn and get to know him everyday and all the ways that he changes and grows and I pray that I'm doing something right.
