This past week I was reminded of the beginning, I have thought a lot about what I have gone through to get here, where I am at this moment. Have you ever had the moment when you realize that somehow the stars and the moon are perfectly aligned? Sometimes it’s just as simple as actually having a chance to run at the time I planned on in the place I wanted, others times it’s so much more than that. It’s about working where I am now and knowing that if it weren't for this job and the people that surround me, I would not be right here, right where I should be. I am close to my children and I am able to be where they need me to be in a moments call, I have time to focus on me and my health instead of sitting on a freeway until the sun goes down.
From the start I knew that I could not do this "running” thing on my own, nope I realized that if I had to depend on my strength alone I would not get very far. I would find myself praying more often than not, at times for myself and then for others and before I knew it, it would be over and my 30 min or my 3 miles would be done. When it was time for me to try and speed up or run longer I never failed to dig deeper into God, but just like SO many times in life we look for God in a troubled time and then we slowly proceed to take it upon ourselves to take the reins and take control. Why bother God with something you can handle yourself?
|Sunrise! My favorite part of running on a Saturday morning!
Well the past couple of months I have been so occupied make things happen on my own I realized that I was handling it on my own, running from my own strength and although it has not been impossible it took me a minute to snap back and remember that this whole process could be much easier if I wasn't trying to do this alone.
Sunday I tuned in my worship music and tuned out everything else, I ran easy and steady not thinking about pace but sometimes singing along and sometimes wondering about everything from the sunrise to what we might be doing this upcoming week and then refocusing my thoughts on what I “should” be praying about. I am far from perfect and my thoughts are all over the map sometimes and others it’s just at peace enjoying the moment taking in the scenery. In the end my run felt great and I ran farther than ever - 8.25 miles (with negative splits!)
It’s going to take a lot of power to get to 13.1 miles and it takes a lot of love – from my family, from my friends, from myself to find the time to run and to realize that I am capable of doing this because “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” – and it’s going to take a lot of self-discipline to train and take care of myself without losing focus of who is in control in the process.
All of this is, okay with me because I'm not alone and because I have already run more than I ever thought I could ~ because I understand that it's not my strength alone that has gotten me here.